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My grandmother always dropped her spare change in a large glass jar that she kept in her coat closet and one day, when I was very young, she asked me to count it for her. I stalled and hesitated and thought of every excuse I could to avoid rolling that large jar out of the closet, pouring the coins on the floor and counting them one by one. She insisted and eventually I obliged.

When the coins were counted and the total was relayed, she gave me a plastic bag and told me to fill it up. She drove me to the store and told me to pick out whatever I wanted. In spite of the complaining and the reluctance, she wanted me to work for the reward. She wanted me to see that sometimes the reward is in the work. She wanted me to realize that oftentimes the reward is already in front of us.

There are times where I struggle with the things I want instead of focusing on the things I have, where I get lost in the daydream instead of finding my footing to chase it. I always think of my grandparents this time of year, specifically my grandmother, because she was one to listen when my head was in the clouds yet never hesitated to help me keep my feet on the ground; she held my roots and watered them, too.

Last week, we invited both sets of Madison’s grandparents and her uncles over for Thanksgiving lunch at our home. It’s a tradition we started several years ago, one that Madison looks forward to and enjoys and savors as the only grandchild on both sides of our family. The meal she helped her mother make was shared among us at the table she helped set (with our dog at our feet) and I realized again, more than ever, that oftentimes life’s reward is already in front of us. 

I hear you, Grandma, and I thank you.

GIVING THANKS

November 30, 2016


Tonight I sat down with her to pick up a tradition we skipped last year. With a pen and a notepad, she began listing the things she's most thankful for. With a smile after every thing she mentioned like an exclamation point at the end of her sentence, she named something for each day of November leading up to Thanksgiving just as she did for her Thankful List from 2013 and her Thankful List from 2014. Below is her list from this year and it's fun to watch it evolve.

1.  family
2.  funny faces
3.  Jesus
4.  Lakely, my best friend, and friends/classmates
5.  a cozy bed
6.  warm sheets
7.  my house
8.  my teachers and school
9.  clothes
10.  toys
11.  food
12.  TV
13.  books
14.  hair bows
15.  jewelry
16.  Charlie
17.  good health
18.  laughter
19.  movies
20.  imagination
21.  music
22.  dolls

...and just as it's the last thing she mentions in her prayers at bedtime...

23.  Mommy and Daddy

Happy Thanksgiving!

MADISON'S 2016 THANKFUL LIST

November 23, 2016


Today has been a very long day. Although there is a crack in the ceiling for women everywhere, I didn’t sleep at all last night. I tossed and turned and tried desperately to find the words to tell her when she woke up. How do we explain this to our children? To our daughters?

I watched the light in my daughter’s eyes last night before she went to sleep. I heard the excitement in her voice when she asked if she could be President one day. I could feel the electric energy running through her spine as she sat up when I told her 44 men have been President and now, maybe, it could be a woman. The hope was contagious.

She asked who won after she brushed her teeth this morning and read my face before I could answer. I told her we’ll continue to love, to be kind, to be accepting. I told her that her mother and I are raising her to be tolerant and strong, smart and considerate because the God we believe in feels the same. 

I continuously tell her she could be anything she wants to be, she could do anything she chooses to do. Women are just as important as men. The sky is the limit. She asked how people could vote for someone so mean and I mentioned we're entitled to our own opinions and all have our own moral compass which is true regardless of the decision.

It’s a sensitive topic, I’m aware, but this election won’t define her. This will propel her. A strong woman once said, “never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams” and I couldn’t agree more.  

She asked again if she could still be the President one day and of course she can, if she wants to be. I'll be damned if someone tells her, or any other child, otherwise. Slip into those glass slippers, baby girl, and shatter that glass ceiling because why settle for one when you can do both.

SLIPPERS AND CEILINGS

November 9, 2016


When she was two years old, she wanted to be a mermaid when she grew up. When she was three, she wanted to be a waitress. When she was four, she wanted to be a rock star. Now, at age five,  when she grows up she wants to be all of those things plus a chef and an actress and a teacher and a mother. At the end of the day, even though it’s not up to me, I just want her to be happy.

I want her to chase the dreams and follow the paths that lead to her joy.  I want her to become the best her she can possibly be and I want her to know I’ll support whatever she ultimately decides that is, but I'm crossing my fingers happiness is the result. I want her to always find a reason to celebrate the day and I want her to make sure that she truly lives instead of settling to exist.

She mentioned recently she wants to move to a bigger city, to New York, to somewhere that requires you to stay on your toes and keep busy. A place where boredom is a stranger and everyone has a fist full of aspirations like a bundle of balloons they carry around hoping and praying one of them will be the one to lift them off the ground. Sometimes I see so much of myself in her.

Regardless of where she lands once she spreads her wings, I just hope she enjoys the flight. I hope she finds her way through the inevitable ups and downs and I hope she shares that bright, contagious smile of hers with the world. I hope she never loses the courage to explore or the bravery to speak her mind or the heart to empathize. She’s going places - I’m sure of it because she’s sure of it. Watch and see.

WATCH AND SEE

November 2, 2016

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