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SOCIAL MEDIA


She often asks if we can move to the beach and deep down I hope there comes a time where I’ll respond with a resounding yes, but for now I answer the request with a maybe one day and a hopefully so leaving room for the possibility. 

Every time we visited the sandy shore this summer she all but dove into the welcoming, temperamental waves of the Atlantic and every time she asked to stay longer and she asked with such eagerness that it was hard to pull her away. We took advantage of every opportunity that presented itself over the last few months to revisit the ocean that all three of us find peace in, to hear the whispers of wind blowing in from the surf, to smell the salt that we taste on our lips and to watch the world round off in the distance with our daydreams resting on the horizon. 

There’s something about the calming rush of water meeting land that puts everything into perspective, that reiterates just how powerful and perfect and possible it all is when left up to Him and while this summer was fairly laid back, it was definitely one for the books.

WAVES + WISHES

August 26, 2014


I remember walking into the dimly lit room, choosing a row from the many options that branched off from the aisle and unfolding the bottom portion of my selected seat, to watch The Lion King as it filled a large screen at the front of the theater.  I was just shy of double digits age-wise and had recently developed a love for Sour Patch Kids when I watched the transformation of an impatient lion cub who couldn’t wait to be king earn his throne. I watched as his spiteful uncle scarred by evil let his ill intentions loose on the kingdom and I watched as various animals sang their way through it all.

This weekend, I watched it through my daughter’s eyes and it was like seeing it again for the first time. The joyous yet challenging role Mufasa faced as he attempted to protect and parent Simba was more apparent this time around than I remember initially. I watched as my daughter smiled and laughed at a meerkat with a warthog as a sidekick. I watched as she cringed and wrinkled her nose at three hyenas (high-ninas as she pronounced it). I fell in love with the film all over again, an occurrence that seems to happen more often than not these days… such is the circle of life, I suppose.

CIRCLE OF LIFE

August 24, 2014


Recently, my wife and I have been making an effort to eat healthier and cleaner and in doing so we've been switching up our usual breakfast of various bars to something more filling and natural. Among the rotation is a five minute breakfast we find ourselves coming back to more often than not... a cinnamon apple breakfast pizza. I'm honestly not sure where we saw the idea originally and attempting to search for it just now proved that we're not the only ones waking up to this in the morning, it seems to be everywhere and in several different variations; however, this is how we make it.

INGREDIENTS:
1 tablespoon peanut butter
apple, thinly sliced
whole wheat tortillas
cinnamon

DIRECTIONS:
On a flat tortilla, spread the peanut butter then layer the apple slices overlapping each other slightly until the entire tortilla is covered. (Note: We use one apple and we're able to cover two tortillas with slices leftover for our three year old's breakfast.) Sprinkle cinnamon on top, as much as desired. Done! Less than five minutes and breakfast is served.

CINNAMON APPLE BREAKFAST PIZZA

August 21, 2014

By now, I'm sure there aren't many who have not heard of the ice bucket challenge as it is currently dominating social media in effort of bringing awareness to ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, often referred to as "Lou Gehrig's Disease"). I was nominated this weekend to participate by pouring ice water over my head or donate to the charity within 24 hours, as the challenge goes. I immediately chose to donate; consequently, I'm challenging whoever is reading this to do the same.


I was reading Pete Frates' story earlier (he's the inspiration behind the challenge) and found myself incredibly proud of people in general for listening to a voice amidst a struggle and now continuing to spread the word at a time where he can't vocally do it himself. The amount of exposure this disease is getting as a result of what is arguably the most successful charity campaign of our generation... maybe all time... is nothing short of genius and is quite an amazing thing to watch.

ALS ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE

August 17, 2014

I'm not sure if these are amusing to anyone else or just Allison and me since we're her parents, but I have a feeling we'll look back one day enjoying that we captured some of Madison's random comments (click here for more).


ALLISON:  I'm going to jump in the shower, I'll be back.
MADISON:  Don't mess up that pretty hair, okay?

--

MADISON:  I want Chinese food.
ME:  You do, huh?
MADISON:  (pats belly) Yummy, so good.

--

Both Madison and Benson are covered in a pile of laundry...
ME:  What are you doing?
MADISON:  I'm dressing him up like a movie star. He's going to look fabulous.

--

MADISON:  You know what I like?
ME:  What?
MADISON:  I like it when ladies have long hair and sing in microphones.

--

ALLISON:  What do you want for lunch?
MADISON:  Corn. Raisins. Cake. Yep, that's what I want.

CHATTY PATTY, VOL. 14

August 14, 2014


I heard her padded footsteps, flat and short, across the hardwood floors of the bedroom I share with her mother and before I could open my eyes I felt her breath on my cheek. Judging by the amount of light filtered through the blinds that stretched across the foot of our bed in stripes of warmth, it was early.

“Wake up,” she whispered.

She patiently stood inches from my face and as soon as I allowed the blues of my eyes to peek through my lids, she lifted her cupped hands for me to see. She smiled and I did the same in return. Regardless of the time, any morning I get to grab a few extra moments with her is a good morning indeed.

“I have a present for you,” she said.

With her tiny hands still palm to palm, I hoisted her into the bed careful not to wake her mother beside me and I sat up to face her. She smiled even bigger and I couldn’t help but mirror her excitement as she moved her hands holding the gift she brought towards me.

“Open it,” she said. “Open!”

I pulled her hands apart with my own and exaggerated shock, as a parent does. I lifted the invisible gift from her grasp and told her I loved it, I told her thank you, I told her she didn’t have to give me anything… then I asked what it was.

“Sunshine, Daddy.”

I hugged her tighter than any time before, a challenge that continues presenting itself at every sunrise. I really did love it. I really was thankful. It was the best gift I’ve ever received and, little does she know, she’s been giving it to me every day since she was born.

GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE

August 12, 2014


Its been a little over two weeks since I last wrote something in this space. The lack of posting hasn’t been because I haven’t had anything to say, I think it’s obvious the subject matter I’ve chosen here is a never-ending topic, but the silence has been more so because of potential stage fright. While I’ve never focused on numbers and pageviews and the growth of this little corner of the Internet, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I looked at them from time to time. Recently, I’ve seen quite an increase in the quantity of people visiting and, to be completely transparent, it freaked me out a little bit.

I worried that I was exposing too many details of my daughter’s life, that I was posting too many pictures of her, that while I was documenting small stories I want to remember it could be at the expense of her privacy and ultimately sacrificing any potential anonymity she may want in the future. I began combing through previous posts overanalyzing sentences and photo selection searching for peace of mind and a comforting clue if I should continue or not. 

Although I have no way of knowing who visits this space and I have no control over their thoughts while here, I do have a heavy hand in filtering what is seen. The stories shared are already such a small percentage of her life, of our lives, that I really don’t consider them to be crossing the line into embarrassing territory for her at any point going forward (hopefully). However, pictures are worth a thousand words and photographs have a way of telling a story all their own so I noticed myself second guessing and viewing the images we (my wife and I) capture with a skeptical eye.
  

In doing so, I kept referring to a set of mental guidelines that helped me choose what to share publicly and where and what to keep private (for personal photo albums or for close friends and family only). As parents, it is our responsibility to protect our children and to shield them from the dangers of the world until they’re able to defend themselves and even then we’ll refuse to let go. In a time where social media is ever present and continuing to grow exponentially at every turn, we’re in danger of being counterproductive in our efforts of documenting their lives by putting them at risk of too much exposure instead.

We haven’t had a generation take advantage of such outlets at such rates before and we’re not yet sure of the consequences of our actions. We can guess and assume, but there’s no way to be sure how the children we see through the screens of our iPhones and tablets and monitors will react to having potentially every moment captured by some form of technology and seemingly shared with the world at large. We have to be better at filtering our lives, and our children, on a personal level before running moments through the filters provided by our outlet of choice.

I primarily use Instagram and this blog when sharing bits and pieces of our lives and I run every potential post through a mental checklist to ensure I’m still protecting her before sharing certain moments. In case you’re a parent attempting to do the same, here are the self-imposed hurdles I jump through and how they’re working for now.




My Instagram account was public in the beginning, but after a few followers I deemed creepy and/or questionable once I saw pictures in their feeds I decided to make my account private. Now if anyone wants to follow me, they have to request approval in which I get to personally see who is viewing my pictures. With a public account, a notification is still received when someone new follows you yet it’s easier for people to fall through the cracks. A private account helps limit who has access to your images without your permission. That being said, if a hashtag used is searched for or someone double taps your post the image could still potentially be seen by non-followers… so being cognizant of who is approved to follow your feed or the usage of hashtags should always be considered.




While this blog is obviously very public making it impossible to determine who stops by or for what reason, a fact I’m constantly aware of, I choose carefully what I share here versus what I share on Instagram. I’ve always viewed the latter as an extension of the former and will occasionally cross share certain images, but I’ve become much more selective in what I share in this space as a result of the lack of control from the public facing nature of blogging. On the blog, bathing suit pictures are off limits at this age and older unless strategically cropped (as in the title picture at the beginning or the image used in this post) whereas I’m not as strict on Instagram although I try to limit full body swimsuit images to a minimum and/or from certain angles while pictures of her bare bottom or in underwear or topless are never shared (diapers don’t count). 

I also try to limit how often I use her name both here and in captions there. As of now, if one were to Google her name nothing related is returned in the search results (in links or images)… something I’m very proud of and hope continues going forward. I would never want something I shared for sentimental purposes to be used against her with negative intentions by something found during a curious web search. I also try to be mindful in what images I use with which post. For example, in the potty training post I made sure not to include any images of her face. Sometimes I opt for an aerial shot or one where another aspect is in focus instead (like the picture above).



Make a point to look at the pictures and stories other parents are sharing, not to judge but to strengthen your own instincts. By having access to what others are posting, you’ll develop a stronger sense of what you enjoy seeing and what content you find cringe worthy.  Everyone has different comfort levels and not everyone will agree on what is acceptable and what isn’t by most parental standards, but I know I’m the one that has to live with the decision of sharing or not so what may work for someone I follow may not always work for me personally. Judging by the email I received after using the picture of my daughter crying in this post where someone vowed to never read anything of mine again, I know difference of opinion is alive and real. At the end of the day, the only side eye I’m worried about getting is from my daughter herself (and my wife, of course)… unless the look she gives me is as cute as the one above then I may just have to share it regardless.

SOCIALLY AWARE : PROTECTING OUR CHILDREN ONLINE

August 10, 2014

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