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I think I was drowning before she came along. I think He knew it, too, which is why I think He sent her when He did. A handpicked angel from His choir of wings and halos that He selected just for me (and my wife, too, I’m sure) and I think it all happened intentionally. A lifesaver in the form of a beautiful baby girl sent to save me from myself, to prove everything happens for a reason, to redefine and rediscover the purpose of this whole life thing.

At the time, a time before stuffed animals kept my couch cushions warm, I thought I knew everything. As it turns out, I knew only a portion of what I should and applied even less to learning more. For a brief moment between feeling her kick from within her mother’s womb until I heard her first breathy inhale evolve into an exhaled cry of freedom and confusion, I regretted every decision I had ever made. I barely recognized the reflection in the mirror. I searched for motivation, for drive, for passion and desire in the blue eyes that promised a world of opportunity before blinking it all away.

I spent the days floating by, coasting along enjoying whatever direction the wind blew me until she arrived. Once I saw her face, pink and screaming, once I held all eight pounds nine ounces of her in the bend of my elbow, her wiggling limbs folding into my chest, once I saw her eyelids part rivaling only the sight of the pearly gates opening and her eyes landed on mine, wet with tears that came without warning, I knew immediately she was a gift.
  
The next few years proved every decision I’ve ever made, good and bad and in between, all happened for a reason. Every month her age accumulated was another month reality settled in a little more. Every path I chose along the way led me to where I am now, feet in the sand, hand in hand with the little angel He sent as clarity. Every turn happened for a reason so I could learn the lessons needed to teach her, every mistake made so she doesn’t have to make them herself, every dream postponed because who knows if the chase then would lead to the same destination now. 

Everything happens for a reason. Every morning the sun rises and sets in the afternoon and the ocean crashes against the shore and the horizon holds it all, the reasons and explanations and truth, in its fold. This past weekend she slipped in the surf and before the strength of the ocean rolled her over I pulled her to her feet and she turned and said “you saved me Daddy, you’re my hero” but little does she know it will always be the other way around.

6 comments

  1. Love this!! Children are truly saving us all!

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    1. They really are... they're just a constant reminder to be the best people we can be so they can be the best people they can be. The circle of life, I suppose!

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  2. Love in its truest form!! Just beautiful!

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  3. Love in its truest form!! Just beautiful!

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